I'm in the middle of reading a book that I love so, so, so much! It's called Lock and Key, and it's by Sarah Dessen. The main character in this story, Ruby, has gone through so much in the 18 years that she has lived, and she has had to struggle with so many problems over the years. She's had to fend completely for herself since she was 12, make money, keep up her grades, and deal with her horrible mother, who abandoned Ruby at the age 16. Many people deal with their problems in different ways, through relaxation, anger, destruction, among many others. For Ruby, she runs off and gets wasted, and she thinks that that will solve all her problems. I think she does this because she feels comfortable in her old ways, she thinks it will help her to get away from everything, and because her mom was a drug addict and she wants to feel closer to her .
When Ruby lived in Jackson with her mother, she was living in a tiny run down house in a sketchy neighborhood, and right down the block from her was a drug dealer. She since she was 16 it's been second nature for her to "smoke away her problems." In the book Ruby said, "I didn't think of it something illegal, and bad, and harmful. It was just something I did, like watching TV or going to sleep." Ruby had grown so accustomed to that type of lifestyle. Then she was sent to a totally new place and her life was flipped upside down. Everything was changing and she had nothing to hold onto in her life. So whenever she has a problem she feels obligated to go back to her old ways, to make her feel safe and comfortable. Even though she had a far from great lifestyle back home, I think she thinks that being in her original "habitat" will make things better. There's definitely sense in the fact that she finds comfort in her home, no matter how bad it may be.
Another reason why Ruby goes off to get drunk and high whenever she has a problem is because she thinks it will get her away from all her troubles. One day when her older sister Cora told her about how her mom lied to Ruby her whole life, Ruby was feeling overwhelmed, scared, and confused. So she went back to Jackson and decided to get wasted. When she got home she felt bad about herself, but she still would continue to do it. She said, "I don't care who's going to be disappointed in me, it's my life and I need it. I need it, or else I'd have to face my problems by myself, and I'm not strong enough to do that." At this point in Ruby's life she's not brave or powerful enough to stand up to what she needs to, so she finds another way to do that: get wasted.
One more reason why I think Ruby uses drugs and alcohol to get away from her problems is because her mom was a drunk and a drug addict all her life. Ruby's mom may have put her through hell, but she is her mom, and Ruby definitely misses her. In Ruby's mind the only way to get closer to her mother is to follow in her path. For example, when Ruby is justifying to herself her need to smoke and drink she thinks, "I'm never going to see my mom again. Never know her, never know where she is, what she's dong. But when I smoke pot I feel like she's there with me. When I wake up from being too drunk, she's the first thing I think about." I believe that this is Ruby's way to stay with her mom forever.
In conclusion, Ruby's whole life has been one big rough patch, and she doesn't know how to handle it anymore. So to overcome her problems Ruby goes out to get wasted. I think she does this because it makes her feel like she's home and safe and comfortable, she thinks it will help to solve her problems for her, and she wants to be closer to her mom. I feel terribly for Ruby, and I wish there was some way she could figure out how to deal with the troubles in her life on her own.
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